Small penises have feelings too.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
