you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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