Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Randomize
