If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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