I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
