Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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