Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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