I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
