Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
And then my night got REAL pukey
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
