I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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