shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Randomize
