You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
