Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
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