All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
my shit smells like andre
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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