Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
