Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
