I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize
