Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Randomize
