After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Randomize
