if only i could text you this smell
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
