Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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