no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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