just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
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