i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Randomize
