Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Everclear isn't food dammit
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
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