Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Randomize
