I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
