i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
