I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Randomize
