You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
