I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
