can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
smell my finger.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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