I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
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