New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
