Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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