just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
