C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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