i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Randomize
