So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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