Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
