its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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