Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
