My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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