I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Randomize
