direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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