Quick, to the slutcave!
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
He did a backflip because drugs
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
