I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
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