that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Someone signed my nipple.
Randomize
