as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Randomize
