Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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