I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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