I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize
